It's Hard to Say No
My daughter Christiana said something very interesting. I was telling her about a house I was considering taking on, but totally willing to say no if I didn't get the price and the other parameters that I wanted. She said. "If I were ever to have my own cleaning business that would be really hard for me to do. I'm a people pleaser." I thought about that and it's so true. There's something called the disc profile that helps put people into personality boxes. It's a useful analysis that helps us understand ourselves and others around us. We can learn things like traits, work styles, tendencies, best way to communicate with each other.
D – Dominance – direct, firm, strong-willed, results oriented
I – influence – high positive energy, outgoing, optimistic, enthusiastic
S – Steadiness – accommodating, patient, humble, calm
C – Conscientiousness – accurate, analytical, precise, private
Generally speaking, the D's and I's are extraverts, while the C's and S's are introverts. D's run people over. I's love to be around people. S's are people pleasers. C's are people avoiders. I highly encourage you to take a free online assessment. However, I can guess which one you are. How would I know? You're a SOLO cleaner for a reason. You like to be by yourself working. You are a people pleaser in most cases. You are high detail. This makes you an introvert and probably on the S-C line somewhere. Some of you are I's and D's, but the majority are C's and S's. Let's continue.
Since most of you are C's and S's, let's consider the weaknesses of each. The C's are high-detail and hard to please. They tend to be perfectionists. As much as they want to get faster, they struggle with their own personality. It's an uphill battle. These C's will need to overcome perfectionism with excellence. I have two podcasts on this - Perfection Vs. Excellence & Accept the Uncertainty. Listen to them again and again!!!
Now let's come back to my daughter's incredibly insightful comment. The weakness of the S's is their need to say yes. They are deep feeling and empaths. They don't want to let anyone down and they take it very personally. When the C doesn't reach their desired detail level, they feel like they let themselves and others down. Likewise, the S's feel the same when they say no to others. This is a crippling weakness. Every time you say yes, you are saying no to something else. What if you only have room for 10 yes's in your life or 10 clients in your business and then take on 5 of the wrong yes's? You will have a ineffective business, less time, less money, and hurt your family. Every time you say yes to a true no, you go away from your goals all in the name of making others happy. Therefore, you have to learn self-control and you have to realize that NO is a complete answer. You don't owe anyone an explanation. Just simply say, "No thank you." or "I'm sorry, but I am not able to do that." You don't need any further explanation. If you cannot make this change, you will never move an inch closer to your goals and purpose in life. This is a crippling weakness. Okay there! Was I strong enough. Do you see it? Good. Let me come back to the perfectionists. Hey C's! You don't get a break either. If you can't break free of your perfectionism and move to excellence, you are kidding yourself if you ever think you'll have an optimized solo business with time and money. Something has to give. It's either going to be your pride in your perfection or achieving your goals. It's either going to be your propensity to pleasing others or achieving your goals. There! Was that strong enough to get through. I only share this because I want every one of you to get where I'm at. It's awesome!
Now, let's get back to my daughter. I know that she is a high S. As her father, I am mentoring her to excel in her strenghts and improve her weaknesses. This conversation was a good one and now she knows that she has to say no if she is to ever reach her God-given potential.
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The Smart Cleaning School Podcast helps cleaning business owners from start-up to the struggling solo to the striving seven-figure get SMARTER in their businesses, reshape their mindset, increase productivity, clear the overwhelm, and get clarity through SMART goal-setting & personal accountability. Ken Carfagno is a lifetime learner and teacher. His mission is to help visionaries make the impact they were meant to make.